Thursday, November 10, 2011

As told by JOURNI

There were times when circumstances were less than what I had desired would cause me to reach for food or deny myself of it’s simple pleasures but now as my relationship with food has changed I take pen and paper or in this case keyboard and Windows and I allow the storm to fall upon the pages as a reflection of the depth of my being the place where life really begins.

I’ve but a few more pages to go and had I known the last chapter would be so intense I’m not sure I would have bothered to read…thinking I may have waited for the made for television version. I credit this story to the greatest of all writers my heavenly Father for it was He that saw my ending before my beginning and it’s in His loving care that I can say I have experience three birthings of sort, first in the natural then in the spirit then after what felt like a lifetime of death where existence was a chore, notice I didn’t say living for in living one must feel and I was void of feelings, vacant, completely emptied out. Were there not pictures I would have very little remembrance of such time guess that’s why it was necessary to capture in time that I may go back and reflect on such for it allows me to see where I was and celebrate where I now stand. My former way of “being” robbed me of much; precious time with my daughter, joy in being the apple of His eye and a self value and love that no matter what was unwilling to bow down to anything that was contrary to His word.

Not sure of the precise moment of manifestation but it came and it declared its self to be courage followed by will, drive and determination…my valley of dry bones were visited by these. I did not debate or deliberate its coming, I surrendered to its moving force that wherever I was going was surely better than where I had been. Every scab, scrape, dead tissue, tear, bruise and damaged good was under the watchful eye of the Creator who moved, shifted, took away, presented, replaced and finally restored. It was done in a process of reshaping spiritually, mentally and lastly physically. This permitted me to take the newly fashioned vassal to stand before love ones and strangers alike. I likened the days leading up to this moment to nesting, much like an expectant mother does in preparation for the arrival of the life she carried inside. How ironic that within me was LIFE and the instant I my water broke (tears) and harnessed my feet in prep for delivery (strapped on my heels) I stepped on stage and gave birth to JOURNI

Stay tuned in as JOURNI continues to shares the conclusion of the first read.

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